Smoker’s Paradise

22Nov07

 

Often, I think Japan is the most ridiculous place on planet earth.  Then I remember the White House press room.

I learned something very exciting the other day. My city has banned walking while smoking on city streets. I know this doesn’t make sense to most of my friends from America who’ve never been to Japan, but please bear with me when I describe why this is exciting to me.

I walk to work lately, and I see about 300 other pedestrians and bicyclists on my commute. This is a hustling bustling asian metropolis. It’s so crowded that little old ladies often get knocked down and trampled on if they try to get near the subway station entrance. Furthermore, the sidewalks are narrow. Tokyo is no city of wide broad promenades. No, we have tiny paved footpaths that run between skyscrapers. The main reason that you see homeless under bridges instead of on the streets is because they’d block foot traffic. It’s so crowded that you can tell what the guy in front of you had for breakfast. This is in stark contrast to my hometown of a little less than 1 million where you can’t find that many people on all of the streets combined at 8AM.  In my hometown, they’re all in their cars inhaling fresh air on the way to work because they drive. Here there’s TONS of people. If you’re not careful, you’ll step on somebody.

Now, consider that about 40% of the Japanese population are active smokers. I’m not talking about smoking only at parties or bars; they’re chain smoking and lighting up any chance they get. Among my friends, 70% smoke. Lately I try to avoid them because I think I absorb so much tar and pollutants that I lose years of my life. I mean, why hang out with somebody if they’re going to make you die sooner? So naturally, when the disgusting businessman walking ahead of me lights up, I get to smell (and for the rest of the day, smell like) his “eau de cancer-causing nicotine”.

I guess the reason that the new law was passed is to relieve the discomfort and breathing difficulties of Japan’s aging population. Now the leagues of 80-year-old chronic pulmonary disease-suffering Japanese can celebrate. I’m happy about it too. However, I still see some rebel salarymen stalking down the road, smoking a cigarette and running from the law, which is punishable by a 2000yen (18 dollar) fine. I despise them, and wonder if they allow citizen’s arrest in Japan.

One funny thing is that standing around smoking is apparently OK. Some wiseguy put an ashtray next to the subway entrance. It’s winter, so the cold air now flows down into the station from the entrance. All the smoke  goes straight into the station.  Gotta love this place. Gotta love it.

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